DJ Fantasy
I'm pretty sure DJ Fantasy was one of the minor characters from People Just Do Nothing and a orbital rave DJ from when playing Strings of Life was still deemed acceptable (not any more unless you're actually from Detroit).
So a DJ name is needed for this guy in the clipping, or as my mum used to call it a ‘DJ handle’. I think she had confused the late 80s House craze with CB radio of the early 80s - easily done I suppose.
You're over 45 and want to be a DJ. Not impossible, but a few unwritten rules to consider. If your pushing 50, white, male, straight, and working then the truly woke will have you down as someone knocking one out over DVDs of Anne Widdicombe's Strictly Come Dancing ‘Doris Karloff’ mishaps.
Ideally the easiest way forward is to be a bit posher. Go down the young footballer route and give yourself a double barrelled name that contains your mother's maiden name and the name of a 1970s Fire Island nightclub. EG ‘Sand-Piper’ (as it goes that's quite exotic, eh).
Now what type of music do you want to play? Balearic would seem the most obvious with many of the actual Ibiza original DJs in their late 60s and still playing beautiful music. But to be Balearic you'll need a provenance, and one that's not easily destroyed by a simple trawl through the 'Ku The Best Years’ Facebook page.
One possible route is to pretend you’re the bloke behind Harvey, Choci and Rev in that wonderful Zap club footage of 1990, the kid who everyone nodded at but nobody knew his name, who rolled the joints for everyone... yeah that's you. The charlie and progressive house explosion of the early 90s wasn't your bag, so you fucked off to Ibiza and lived in a cave two doors down from Atlantis for a month until forced to return by angry middle class parents (two birds killed with one stone here).
The last 30 years were spent grafting somewhere worthy (pick one: NHS/Momentum/HMV records) but now you wanna share those Sam Fox and Russ Abbot B sides you collected from the local Mary Portas shop with the world. Lets be honest it won't wash bruv.
‘Trendy Techno’ (tech house with exhaustingly long breakdowns to you and me) AKA Boil in the Bag Techno will not need a realistic vision of the past as Balearic demands. But let’s face it you're a 50 year old bloke. How ya going to compete on the ‘Gram with great looking DJs who all strangely have hundreds of thousands of fans in India and Kazakhstan. Really won't happen unless you really are rich and can afford those social media piggy up the ladders .
This leaves our letter writer one sad option.
Yes, it’s what Beatport ridiculously have renamed… Deep House.
Firstly you can't do this alone. You need to be a duo. Two black ket vests will always be better than one. A moniker is essential, something that bares zero relation to the actual music is a great fit. Remember European Deep House DJs are not DJs but artists. Ever heard of a fucking ‘Gary’, ‘Darren’ or 'Jason’ an topping the bill at P Bar? Plausible ‘Deep House’ DJ duo names going spare at the moment (we did a brief check on the Mixmag DJ list): Gin and Tonic, Me and Mrs Jones, Rubeus Hagrid or Septicemia. Far far easier to hide your unwoke reality behind an indie band-style name. We wish you well mate, it could be that your just a fella who has always loved the music and nothing more… which will make you a lot more real than half the chancers coining it in.